I think your use of the term “idealized person” is interesting as Idealisation denotes an element of impossibility that definitely makes the TBR pile seem unhealthy. For example, I could start buying books about martial arts and expensive training gear because I liked the idea that I could become some kind of latter-day ninja. While I suspect I may have left it a little late to become a ninja, in principle I could become really good at martial arts but if I’m not taking any classes or actually kicking people then I’m really not moving towards that goal. In that type of situation, it is clear that all the expensive martial arts gear is just enabling me to entertain the fantasy that I could become a ninja once I found the time. There is no denying the fact that this type of behaviour is common and incredibly unhealthy. If you want to become a ninja, go take karate classes, if you want to become a runner then start running as you can’t buy yourself into becoming a ninja anymore than you can buy yourself into becoming an expert of Dostoyevsky.

However, I think that this type of thing is quite an extreme example of something we all do.

I’ve often bought stuff for projects that never actually went anywhere. The reason for this is that it was only once I started working on the project that I realised that it wouldn’t be fun and so was not deserving of my time.

The problem is that in both cases (both the extreme fantasy enabling and the honest mistake purchasing) you are buying stuff in the hope that you’ll grow into getting use out of it but while this type of activity can be unhealthy if taken to an extreme, it can also be hugely rewarding. For example, I remember buying a pair of walking shoes because I decided that I wanted to lose weight. 12 months later, the weight was well on the way to being completely gone and the shoes were full of holes. Those shoes were purchased in the hope that I would grow into getting use out of them and I did.

Every change we make involves these kinds of purchases or changes and while some are unhealthy and unrealistic, some are just part of what it means to try something new. The danger isn’t in the act of purchasing new stuff, it is in having expectations that are completely unrealistic.

A TBR pile is a perfectly reasonable way of expressing yourself and of keeping track of the stuff you want to work on as an individual, it only becomes unhealthy when the fantasies you entertain become unrealistic, in which case the problem is not with the TBR file, it’s with the fact that you’re a 35 year old man who seriously thinks that he can become a ninja :-)

I always understood Voltaire’s conclusion that one should cultivate their own garden (“il faut cultiver notre jardin”) was an opposition between being publicly engaged in causes and finding happiness in private life, whatever your passion, interest or hobby is.

Guilty! I have a TBR but not for the pleasure of buying, I think. When I was a child I couldn’t have all the books I wanted. Now I can. When you’re a bookworm, I don’t think you ever recover from book restrictions in childhood. (I had subscriptions in two different libraries, but it’s not the same as owning the books) I love to have a home library, to have a choice when I want to start a new book. For me it’s a luxury, like having a swimming-pool or a wine cave for others.

I’m not sure about your idea of buying a sort of book or DVD in an attempt to become some idealized version of ourselves. It’s intriguing though and sure, human snobery has no limit. Personally, I’m not going to buy V because I don’t think I have it in me to enjoy Pynchon, ever, and that even if Pynchon is socially “cool”, the sort of equivalent of pricey snickers for teenagers but only for bookworms.

That said, for me, buying a book not to read it but to show we have it can mean two things:

1) you haven’t finished to mourn the idealized person you’d want to be. Sure it’s hard but accepting one’s own limits is a great step on the path of peace of mind. I’m not sure I’ll read Ulysses one day. I’m pretty sure I’ll never be able to play Chopin and I love his music. So it goes. I’ll probably try though.

2) you have around you people who can acknowledge that you have V on the shelf and share with them some recognition, like belonging to the club of people who read Pynchon. (who is more daunting to me than Dostoevsky, sorry). You see, I could have all Pynchon’s work on the shelf that nobody would notice because nobody knows him around me.

I agree with the idea of a kaleidoscopic self, influenced by time, environment and people’s presence. (I’m not the same with my husband as with my children as with my friends, etc.) Sometimes it’s hard to recognise the self who has bought that particular thing but it’s not just for cultural goods. It’s the same with clothes: who has never bought a jumper and wondered afterwards “Why did I buy this? I’m not going to wear it!”

There is most definitely a sense in which facebook and blogs are a performative medium. Facebook is overflowing with apps allowing you to broadcast your purchases and the places you’ve been and the things we put online (whether they are essays, reviews or pictures of cats) do flow from some need to express ourselves in public forums.

While I say in my post that consumerism is a mature system of self-expression, I don’t actually think that that’s true when it comes to managing one’s identity online. Consumerism works really well when what you’re doing is wearing certain clothes and having people round to your house to see all of your cool stuff but when everything is virtual, consumerism still lacks a solid vocabulary, which is why people use such vulgar and unsubtle language as blogposts with pictures of all the cool stuff they own. As time moves on and the vocabulary of online consumerism matures, these posts will become fewer and further between.

I must admit that I don’t ‘get’ the first edition hardback thing either but that’s because I really don’t like reading hardback books. I think that kind of consumerism is similar to the act of purchasing the latest blu-ray collector’s edition as you’re saying that you care enough about a particular book to track down a rare first edition of it.

As with all forms of identity broadcasting, it all comes down to care and attention. Do you care enough about being a fan of a particular book to be the woman who owns the pristine hardback first edition? I certainly don’t but I completely understand those who do. I don’t care about being the most fashionable guy in the world or having a successful career… but I understand those who do.

The question of how certain identities become socially desirable and whether or not a socially desirable identity is more subjectively rewarding than one that is not socially desirable is really interesting and I may return to it at a later date. Hmmm….

I’ve actually gone back and forth a few times on my tendency to buy stuff I don’t need. For a while I loved in a one room flat with my GF and we didn’t have room for extraneous books or films and in those days I had what I actually referred to as an ‘identity shelf’ as it contained a selection of books that expressed who I was at that particular time. Now I’ve moved into a much bigger place with loads of storage space and the identity shelf is less clearly defined but it is still out there. It just changes place :-)

One of the joys of hoarding is that while you may not be the Dostoyevsky guy today, you may well be him at some point in the future. In the last six months I’ve had a number of instances when I’ve suddenly wanted to have a book and have discovered that I actually did own the book in question. At the time I purchased those books, I wasn’t read to be the guy who had read them but now I evidently am :-)

This is why people post pictures of their TBR piles to their blogs or use services like Goodreads to keep a public log of the books they have read. These are means of broadcasting your tastes and identity without the clutter of shelves full of books and DVDs

Punk is, as you say, partly about the uniform and I suspect that my observations about being a Dostoyevsky fan also hold for the punk rock lifestyle. Sure you can go full bore and spend your life riding the megabus and sleeping on people’s floors in order to play your music but you can also just wear the clothes and listen to the music. That second option is less rewarding because it involves less investment but it is still an option as it does provide its own (albeit limited) rewards.